Once upon a time

I always had the burden placed upon me that I was meant to be something. Not something great or magical, but “other”. A mother, a teacher, a nurse. Never was I told to be limitless, to believe in myself. It wasn’t until I discovered the existence of HP Laurie Cabot, that I began seeing that one (even a woman) could invent (or RE-invent) their own life. That they could be more than something, they could be anything.

My role models early in early childhood were limited to family members, Barbie and Hello Kitty. Mostly women in servitude of their husbands and in the trappings of housewife-y expectations and two make believe characters. As I am sure many can relate, it was not easy for someone like me to navigate. What I mean by someone like me is, I didn’t feel like I was supposed to be here. I felt misunderstood and annoyed that I had to answer to anyone, still do. I believed that somehow I had been captured as an adult in a different time and trapped in a child’s body in 1980’s South Florida.

Now that I’ve somewhat caught up to myself, I have found that life’s trappings have held me back, or worse, I allowed them. So how does a forty-something paralegal decide that now is the time to take back control? I just fucking did it. I decided that my day job would no longer have a death grip on my life. That I could be both great at my job and an advocate for my own life, for my dreams, for my next chapter.

And that is where I believe most women, of all ages, find themselves at some point (or several points) of their lives. Debating their abilities, second guessing their capacity for greatness and diminishing their destiny to be un-limited. Is everyone a witch? No, definitely not. However I do believe that everyone has the potential to pivot when faced with an opportunity to do so. Not in grandiose ways, but in small incremental steps. One foot in front of the other and before you know it, you’ve hit the Emerald City. Whatever that looks like for you, it’s important to pick your spot, to identify where you have cracks in the foundation and create space.

What do I mean when I say ‘create space’? It means make yourself a priority. Honor the time available to you. For me that means getting up at 6:30 a.m. to get to Pilates before my house needs me a couple of times a week. It means saying “no” to things you don’t want to do so that you can do the things you DO. Give yourself some grace and find the spaces in between the mundane to re-invent yourself or your life.

As you often hear, "How can I do for others if I can’t do for myself?” Therein lies the dilemma. As one of my yoga teachers often reminds me, never pour from your cup first. Make sure you drink from your cup, pour out for others spillage from the saucer.

Previous
Previous

Finding Magic in the Mundane